Waltz My Matilda My Matilda All Over : Afterthoughts

18 Sep

I’m home and in a week back to the grind. Back to work. Back to early mornings and repetitive week cycles. But back to pay days, back to exercising, back to saving money, back to nights inside, back to being sober, back to my nose in books, back to what is known as everyday life.

Some folk begrudge this, but after a while, the road is a cruel mistress. She shows you so much but takes away plenty. The health is hard to maintain, the bonds are quick, but are stricken from you instantaneously.

I carry this buzz with me, the persona of the road. Brimming with confidence, laughing and making people laugh alike. I’ve got tales to tell.

But the thing is many of my mates are just:

“Hey mate, good to see you…”

They’ve got their lives, their girlfriends, their weekends away with their partners.

And me?

I’ve experienced it all this year. Within a month of returning I’d had a wedding and a funeral. The full circle of life. Hours at work, hours studying Spanish, weights sessions in my shed. It’s fair to say I’m keeping it all interesting.

I want more! I want the world. But I’m only 25. It’s still within my grasp.

I talk to Janet most days, that thing called time differences, hard to deal. At breakfast I wish her goodnight, I wish her good morning as I wind down after the day.

I’m writing this a month and a half after returning. I’m back to reality. The people in my life are mostly those from pre-journey. Theres a few odd interactions with the cast I was playing alongside of. Here and there

I look back and feel like I was in a movie, directed, produced and starring me, but co-written by an outside source. Some philosophies call it the higher self, the over soul, the witness to it all. It’s not a separate being but me, somewhere beyond the veil, throwing little chances out to the wind, divergences in the path, teachers in the guise of strange folk.
Gurus in Drag“.

I’ve taken plenty back to day-to-day life with me. I know I’ve seen plenty of the country I was born in. I can relate to more of my kin. I’ve met plenty of strange folk. Other me’s. The greatest lesson I can take with me back to normal life is:

Although the journey is over, the awakening of self still happens, anywhere you are. Happiness happens everyday, not just because your elsewhere, amongst strangers, with no responsibilities. You only have to wake up happy everyday, to be happy. It’s a choice. Let emotions happen, good and bad. Because they happened on that journey doesn’t exclude them from the day to day. You can bring that buzz into everyday life as easy as snapping your fingers.

That’s all I need to do. Not make the excuse that I need to be elsewhere to be happy. It’s all here. And now.

But I’ll journey again, oh yes I will! 😉

The quote below sums up the folk I’ve met along the paths travelled. Because they’re the mirrors I see myself in. To continually see yourself in all beings is a beautiful thing. For always, travelling is about the people, the connections made along the way. I can Google Image any single one of the photos taken and present them. But the people are unforgettable. They surprise and wonder you, amaze and destroy you. They make it all what it is. Grand. Life is grand yes.

I’ll let Jack Kerouac sign me and this blog series off. From On The Road:

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn, who never say a common place thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow Roman Candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you can see the blue centre light pop and everything goes “Awww!”

Thank you all for reading 🙂


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